2010: April to June

Two months into this website comes the first ‘Sorry for taking it slowly recently’. They’re not bad odds, and I have genuinely been busy. Did everybody have a good new years? I was here -

To get the ‘full picture’ of my amazing view, imagine watching this video from the opposite side of the river with one hand over your left eye, and the other hand obscuring most of your vision on your right eye. We were stood under a bridge.

Still, it was a great night with some amazing people. at 12.10am it snowed solidly for ten minutes, prompting cries of “It’s magic, it’s beautiful, it’s 2010″. In the spirit of things I may have commended on the snow being the work of Boris Johnson (Mayor of London) thanks to our recent steep rise in transport charges, but this was met with stern looks by the British public – and so it should have been. 2010 is exciting. 2010 is everybody’s ‘best year yet’, and with good reason. Let’s see what April – June has in store for us…

April 2010

April saw heavy snowfall across the UK in what could only be described by the Daily Mail as “Completely down to immigrants”, by the Guardian as “SNOWBLOG, LIVE BLOG, ROUND TWO!” and by the Express as “Completely intolerable, Diana wouldn’t have stood for it”.

Massive idiots complained across popular social networking sites, Twatter, Facewank and the BBC’s Have Your Say forum, displaying disbelief that the country had once again gone into standstill due to a ‘tiny little bit of snow’. One such idiot, Chelsea from Hackney, said “BluhsdasdasdjKAD”, while this utter moron, Benjamin from Streatham Hill said -

Benjamin needs to learn that Narnia jokes haven't been funny for several years, if they ever really were at all

May 2010

A second series of Surgery Live on Channel 4, hosted by your friend and mine, Krishnan Guru-Murthy came onto our screens in May. Following on from last years successful first run, the second series of Surgery Live, subtitled ‘the Switch’ saw real life surgeons handing over the reigns to Guru-Murthy as he attempted to perform life-saving surgery on several unaware patients over the course of the series.

However don’t look over this series as a simple gore-fest. Each week the surgeon involved in the programme has to present the show while Guru-Murthy works, creating just as many amusing moments as they mess up their auto-cues, as Guru-Murthy makes when he accidentally cuts the blue wire. Compelling viewing.

June 2010

In June Gordon Ramsay returned to our screens with his most controversial series yet, The C Word. Ramsay said the decision to ramp up the show (previously titled The F Word) came after it became apparent that the British public had become desensitised to regular levels of swearing.

“It’s all “Fuck this, fuck you, I fucked your mum, she fucked me back” nowadays, said Ramsay in a statement. “It’s no longer shocking, it’s no longer hip. If I ask my son if he’s done his homework he tells me to fuck off – not as an act of rebellion, that’s just the way the world speaks now. The little c***”.

Channel 4 declined to comment.

July – September to follow soon, honestly.